1. Well there go my lunch plans.
2. That's the patio.
3. News to me!
4. I thought I was sooo smart to save time doing this.
5. Then I think I'll pass.
6. Sounds like an extreme cry for help.
7. I don't know which is worse...
8. The worst part is, someone had to do this in order for them to add a warning.
9. Sounds logical.
10. I'm glad you told me! I would have forgotten to do it!
11. To the point. I like it.
12. Straightening your eyelashes isn't a thing people do, is it?
Not To Be Trusted With Knives 13. So...everyone.
14. How vigorously are you using your letter opener that you need to use safety goggles?
15. I don't even think I could.
16. What if I bought two, though? THEN could I make them into shoes?
17. The vanishing pen VANISHES? Wow. Could've fooled me.
18. And if you do, well that's your own fault.
19. This may be in broken English, but I got the point.
20. This could be solved by not having a sign.
21. Whoever has an external brain probably needs more than some ointment.
22. There's so many questions here...what parts? It's a card for a one-year-old baby?
23. Water: wet.
24. What is in this sauce?
25. This is a joke right? It has to be. Right? Tell me it's a joke.
26. Honestly I don't think they'd let you close enough to do that...
27. Sounds like a plan, Stan!
28. You know what? I have a cat. This makes sense.