Okay, everyone. Listen up. Stop making things that do not need to be made, do you hear me? I have had it up to HERE (you can't see it but my arms are very tall) with this nonsense.

First they made chocolate slices, and I thought "Hm, okay, well I guess maybe that makes sense. Who doesn't love a good slice of chocolate?"  

Then they came out with spreadable coffee and I thought "The end must be near, because no one in their right mind would actually think this is a good idea right?"

THEN came Lady Doritos, and I realized nothing in this world is sacred. Who came up with the idea that women needed quieter chips than men? It was a woman, apparently, although I'm not entirely convinced she's not three teenage boys stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.

But now, the most heinous food invention is almost in stores, and it's making me wonder where we went wrong in the world.

Ketchup slices.

Emily Williams and her business partner, Thac Lecong, have come up with an invention that is neither necessary nor wanted. Williams is crowd-sourcing on Kickstarter to try and get the dried ketchup slices on shelves everywhere.

The creator of Slice of Sauceâ„¢ was experimenting with family recipes given to her by her father, a restaurateur in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. She ended up developing a no-mess, portable condiment that adds a layer to flavor to anything from burgers and sandwiches to wraps and burritos. Slice of Sauceâ„¢ is shelf-stable and needs no refrigeration, making it perfect for outdoor occasions like picnics, barbeques or tailgating, and activities like hiking and camping "“ or even grabbing a bite on the go.

The slices are all natural, but require zero refrigeration, unlike real ketchup. As for the appearance, it's "shaped like cheese singles but look like fruit leather." Because nothing screams delicious like cheese slices and fruit leather.

One pack of these slices will cost $10, plus $5 in shipping. You'll get eight slices in a package, but I'm sure if demand is high enough they'll be more available.

In theory, it makes sense because they're no mess. In reality, they're weird and I don't like them.