Moms around the world are dealing with a lot all the time. It's hard to raise a baby, whether you're alone or if you have a partner, there will always be challenges.
One mother has shared her thoughts on the comments she has received since her child was born, and it's one that a lot of mothers have been relating too.
The Australian-based blogger Constance Hall wrote a post after receiving comments on her photos that her husband was great because he was so "hands on" with their child. She took to Facebook to give an honest look at how much having a baby has changed their relationship.
"I get so many messages on Instagram about how 'hands on' my husband is. And even people telling me that we are 'couple goals,' Hall started off. "The truth is that having a baby has pushed my relationship to the absolute edge."
She goes into it further, explaining that she's okay with the effort she has to put out, it's just that there is such a inequality to the responsibilities that it surprising.
"I can handle upping my work load. I really can. But what I can't handle is the unjust, unfair living arrangements that so commonly follow the birth of a baby.
I'm not man bashing or airing my dirty laundry or doing any of the other ridiculous things that people say when someone speaks out in their truth against a system that greatly benefits one gender while driving another insane."
She discussed how quickly everything changed.
"The minute the baby came out, I became the ball and chain," she wrote. "Coming somewhere with me became a chore, holding the baby, a favor, we went from being inseparable our saying was 'where you go I go' to Christmas holidays with 2 trips apart already."
She admitted that she was having a lot of intense feelings.
"I am lonely. I wake up with my baby at 6am and I'm in bed exhausted by 8pm. That's the thing about babies, they take away all of your alone time and somehow leave you feeling incredibly lonely.
I am resentful. After doing so many loads of washing the other morning while his highness slept in for the 340th time this year I flooded the bathroom, mopped for half an hour, put the baby down, made myself some eggs, walked past the wet patch and slipped, smashing my plate and knees. And I was not expecting to not be able to get up. I just lay there, covered in washing machine water. Furiously crying. So fucking angry with where motherhood/wifehood has taken me."
Many mothers have felt this same thing, but yet people still make comments on posts saying that it's remarkable that the father is spending time with his own child. She knows that this is all temporary, but the fact is, she doesn't feel like the responsibilities are equal.
"So thank you for giving me some superficial gratification when telling me that we are couple goals but in the spirit of honesty, having a baby is one thing, sharing that baby is a completely different story.
Where there is love there is a way and there is no shortage of love in my marriage.
We will grow and we will be ok."
She finishes off her post by sharing some words of wisdom a friend of hers recently said to her. "As my recently divorced male friend told me, 'you think having a baby and wife is depressing.. until they leave you. And then you learn the meaning of depressing.'"
The post has thousands of comments from fellow mothers sharing their similar experiences, while others admitted they were one of the "lucky ones" whose husband does his fair share. The fact that Hall is trying to put forward though, seems to be that there shouldn't be "lucky" ones, all partners should take equal responsibility in raising their children.
Source - Facebook - Constance Hall / Today
