YouTube star Brittani Boren Leach, who documents her life as a stay-at-home mom, made a tragic announcement on December 26th. Her youngest child, son Crew who was born in September, had gone down for a nap and become unresponsive. In a series of Instagram posts, Leach documented the heartbreaking few days she and her family have experienced.
I don’t have any words right now, other than to desperately ask for your prayers. Not the kind that you say “I’m praying for you” and don’t, but the kind where you fall on your knees and beg God for a miracle. While at a relative’s house last night, Crew laid down for a nap and when I went to check on him, he was not breathing. We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. Please pray for my baby. This can’t be real.
Brittani gave a small update, saying an MRI was needed to determine the extent of the damage to Crew's brain.
Right now Crew is “stable” and the ventilator is breathing for him. They are working on stabilizing his body and tomorrow he will have an MRI to determine his brain function and that will determine the next step. I can’t explain to you what this feels like. This kind of thing only happens to “other” people. Not me. I just want to crawl in bed with my baby and nurse him. Instead I’m standing here with a breast-pump in my bra where my baby should be... begging God for a miracle. Please continue to pray. Please. I don’t think I can go on without him.
Tragically, the MRI showed that Crew's brain function wasn't there anymore, and that although he was still breathing, the little boy that Brittani had put down for his nap was no longer with them.
Crew’s tiny earthly body is still with us, although I know he’s already dancing and playing in Heaven. We have some hard decisions to make over the next 12 hours, that no parent should ever have to make. We need prayer now, more than before, specifically prayers for peace and clarity on the decisions that have to be made, and for our hearts, the pain is unbearable. I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t. The outpouring of love and support has been astounding and we cannot even comprehend the amount of love we have been shown.
Jeff Leach, Crew's dad, also posted about the tragic update on his Facebook pages, announcing that the family had made a decision to donate Crew's organs.
The doctors have concluded that the damage to Crew’s brain is catastrophic & irreparable. We are devastated. We have made the difficult decision to donate Crew’s organs in the hopes that he can help another child and family in need. Crew fought bravely, so we could spend this time together.We’re so blessed to have been here with him. Thank you to the first responders and staff at Guadalupe Regional Medical Center for bringing him back & giving us hope. Thank you to the staff of Methodist Children’s Hospital for continuing to provide him with loving care.We are grateful for our family and friends who have stepped up to care for us & our kids in this time of need.Thank you to everyone who visited him, sent a note, said a prayer or made a contribution. Your love has lifted us.
Jeff & Brittani
Brittani shared that tiny handprints and footprints were being made for baby Crew while the family prepared to make an unthinkable decision.
Laying in bed with Crew, listening to @karijobe and @hillaryscottla , I have found clarity in the decisions that we have to make. And right now we are making hand and footprint imprints, a family handprint tree and a fingerprint charm. Jeff and I take turns being strong for each other, and our kids have been so strong. We are just taking things, minute by minute, hour by hour, although it feels like a daze. The huge amount of support that we have been shown is mind blowing to us, and we truly do feel all of the love and prayers being sent this way.
Brittani also opened up about her faith during the whole situation, and how she's mad at God for taking her son away from this earth so soon.
It’s all just too much. All of it. I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now. I cry behind the bathroom door while Jeff holds me, because in the room over everyone else gets to laugh and go on with their lives, and it makes me so angry. Running tests on my sons body to see how his organs are functioning before they take them. Pumping breastmilk just to pour it down the drain. Hearing a baby cry. Seeing a baby his age. Shopping Nordstrom for the dress I’ll wear to my son’s funeral. It’s all too much. I’m sorry to vent, but this is my heart. And I need all the prayers to get through this.On December 29th, Brittani announced that the next day her little boy would be on his way to surgery to donate his organs.
Crew will be going into the operating room tomorrow at noon to potentially save 3 to 4 babies lives. Tonight we are soaking up every moment with him by bathing him, holding him and loving him. We ask that you keep our family in your prayers tomorrow, knowing that it will be the hardest day of our life. And thank you @harmonydesignshop for these beautiful portraits that we will cherish forever.Jeff says that the family is believing God has a plan for them, and that he just hopes the rest of their kids can have a happy and normal life.
This is what we want- We want to believe that God is in control and has a plan for Crew that is beyond our understanding. We want to honor our sons life. We want Sydney, Carter, Cooper & Cash to be happy & have a normal childhood. We want to give a sick child hope and a chance at a better life. We want to hold on to Crew’s memory and not let him fade away. We want to thank everyone who has been kind & supportive.It's absolutely devastating to think that on Christmas Day, when everyone is celebrating, this family was given the worst possible news.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the Leach family.