They keep us awake at night, you have never eaten a hot meal since the day they were born and they interrupt every phone conversation you ever attempt at making.
In your sleep deprived state, every parent knows that their kids act more like tiny drunk adults some times than the bundle of joy we brought home from the hospital.
So in those moment of pure parent torture, here's a laugh that will help you get through the next tantrum.
1. They always find themselves in inexplicable situations
2. They're obsessed with finding something to eat. MUST. HAVE. FOOD. NOW!
3. They're constantly hurting themselves.
4. They're terrible at judging distances. See #3
5. They have absolutely no coordination. *Points Back to #3*
6. They constantly misjudge their strength and coordination. Did you read #3?
7. Things go wrong for no apparent reason
8. They have no shame about being seen with no pants on.
9. They often fall asleep on or near toliets
10. They can't seem to walk in a straight line
11. They fall asleep with their shoes still on
12. They shouldn't be trusted with heavy equipment
13. You often can't figure out what they're saying half the time
14. They could start crying at any moment
15. They have poor impulse control
16. They have no sense of shame
17. There is no sleeping position too uncomfortable
18. They can't seem to get food in their mouths
19. Their depth perception is all over the place
20. They're totally unable to predict when they're about to pass out
21. They'll stop whatever they're doing to take a nap. When they're tired, you'll know! Commence the whining.
Well played tiny human, well played.